Monday, August 1, 2011

Day 17... Letting go....

Hannah's white blood cell count it up (that is good) and for the fourth day
in a row, she has not produced any cancer cells!!

So, I was not going to post tonight, I am very tired, I kinda hit the wall today, and quite frankly wanted to go to bed and have everything go away.  Well guess what, I do not have that option for two reasons, one is that I have a daughter that is fighting with all her might, and I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "really, you are tired???  give me a break..."  

The second reason is that God does not care if you are tired when it is time to learn something.  

I have several things going against me in my general make up.  First, I am a man, I have learned over the years that men have flaws, and women are very good at finding those flaws.

Second, I am a dad.  Dads by nature think they can fix everything.   "I am the dad, I will fix it."

Thirdly, and most importantly is that I have been a high school football coach.  Face to face, fix things.  Take it on, deal with it, work harder win.
That in a nutshell is me.  I want to control those things I can.

I learned along time ago that it is very easy to let those things go to God, that can not be controlled.  I can not control Hannah's health, so for me, it is very easy to let that go to God.  I know that I can not fix that, I have to rely on others for her to become well.  I am simple minded and that is easy for me.

Today, I learned that letting go of those things that I "think" I can control, while very difficult, can be very liberating.  

This evening, our house was full of people.  Painting, cleaning, doing laundry.  Simple things.  Stuff I can handle, except not at this point of my life.  A good friend came up to me and told me that she was taking the laundry, that I needed to focus on Hannah and work.  All I could do was hug her.

I am learning to rely on others.  What I am learning is that this is not a sign of weakness, (as I may have originally thought) it is actually a sign that I am relying on the body of Christ to minister.  I am weak others are strong, that is why we are a body.



  1. Very well said Craig, you're becoming quite the bog writer.

  2. Thank you for accepting the love in the form of help others are so glad to give....It truly is harder to receive than give.

  3. A beautiful lesson learned. You are listening well to the whispers He is giving.